Have you ever just wanted to give up being a mom? How about a military spouse? Because I'm right about there you guys. Things have been CRAZY! Of course my anxiety and stress don't help at all, but for real. I just want to check out in life. Head to the beach, sit in the sand and sun with a yummy drink in my hand and not have a care in the world. Or a cruise, I'd love that too! I'm gonna do it!
I'm so funny right?? I'm sure a LOT of people feel this way. Life is hard and sucks at points, but what can we do other than try and cope the best way we can?
I've been stuck for awhile about what to write about. I think part of it is my depression and self confidence, not thinking anyone will care or they will just make fun of me on whatever I write about. Other part is I am so freaking busy being a mom to a little girl and to 4 animals! Cleaning the house rarely gets done now, especially to my specifications, which I've been told are too high 😂👌. I rarely fix my hair, but sometimes I have makeup on! I've put my recovery on a back burner because I'm usually too tired to try and work through my thoughts and everything. Making meals is harder because I am so occupied that I forget to start dinner early enough so we can eat together as a family. Little E goes to bed around when we usually would eat dinner, but I'm trying to have to change things up! It makes me feel like a bad mom just letting her eat her dinner while I sit there and have a snack or just talk to her. I need to change this because I am just so tired and can't do it all anymore! I love little E. She is a little developmentally behind, which was to be expected being 7 weeks early, but there are times I just don't know what to do with her. She is a lot of work, like a lot. I'm always trying to work with her on therapy things and I feel like it just doesn't work. She is SO stubborn and wants to do things her way, which I definitely want her to be her own self and figure out her own things BUT some of her muscles are weak because she won't do it how she "should." She is doing really well at sign language and she "talks" all the time, but just won't say words! Especially "momma"😂😑 . I'm trying to relax because she is doing really well, but there are times I feel like I've failed and not just in motherhood. I feel like I've lost who I am. I've always wanted to be a mother and a stay at home mom, but sometimes this sucks. I've never really known who I was (even though I felt like I did) and I've been working so hard the past few years to find myself and now I feel like I lost it. We're always at appointments or running errands. Ive realized that I need to add more fun to our lives that doesn't involve physical or occupational therapy. It's just hard trying to do everything at once.
So, with all this....who else feels like this?! I can't be the only one....please say it ain't so!!
Keep up the fight ladies and gentlemen!
-M
