Well y’all, it’s been awhile! Our computer broke while N was deployed and we finally fixed it! I’m usually really bad about updating anyways haha!
A LOT has happened! N came home from deployment! Yay! And little E has her daddy back, and more importantly I’m not a single parent anymore, whhaaatt?!? Haha, just kidding. He still works crazy hours. She’s usually asleep by the time he gets home, which I know must be hard. The readjustment phase is no joke, but having him home is so amazing. Also, my awesome friend and neighbor took pictures of our homecoming!
Not so patiently waiting for N!
Back together as a family! <3 We’re cheesin’ hardcore
NEXT, little E had her 1st birthday! Technically before N got home, but we had a big party for her and N after he got home. Pictures below, including her on her real birthday <3 Also, she’s scooting everywhere now! Yay and boo haha
Tasting the cake
We got a little overwhelmed and tired haha
Can she get any cuter!?
Well, after that, I ran and coordinated my and Augusta’s FIRST NEDA Walk! Oh em gee! Y’all, it was hard. I still haven’t touched the stuff we unloaded in the garage the day of the walk haha. I should probably do that so my husband doesn’t loose his mind because his garage is dirty -_- I’ve pretty much given myself a hard time over this walk, I picked out all the things that went wrong and what I could have done better and what more could have been done. In all honesty though, it was a great event and I did what I could! We raised $4,480 total!
My sexy husband spoke too 😉
Friends are what made this possible!
After all of this, we are now in the holiday season. My shopping is pretty much complete and little E is very interested in what’s under the tree. Which is good and bad because I have to keep telling her not yet haha. Besides that, recovery is hard. Very hard. I can feel that I am so close to giving up ED, but I’m still holding on to him for dear life. I know logically that he isn’t good for me, but I just can’t seem to let him go. I want him here to comfort me, he’s my safety blanket. Even though he’s not safe, he tries to keep telling me he is. I have been overboard anxious, with obviously what went on the past few months, but now because I’m so close to saying I’m “Recovered.” (As the amazing Jenni Schaefer states) It’s exciting and extremely scary at the same time. The knowing I’m close, but being scared is constantly on my mind since I keep arguing with myself. It’s tiring and include having a toddler, 4 animals and a house to take care of. Taking care of myself has been pushed to the back burner, but I really need to sit down everyday and process and write out everything like I used to. I need to practice self care and relaxation. Where’s my coloring book?? Can I have more Gabapentin (Sp?) please?? Haha just kidding. For real though, I’m trying hard not to rely on my medication at least for anxiety, but I’m realizing I can’t be hard on myself for taking medication either. I need it, my brain needs it and that’s okay.
Army life is still crazy, not knowing where we’re going or doing next is pretty difficult. Should I keep decorating the house or wait until the next house? What is the new house going to look like? I need to plan to make it a home! I feel like this is another blog, so I’m keeping this short 😉
That’s all I got for right now. I’m starting to overanalyze everything, so I’m stopping haha!
I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas and Happy New year if I don’t post again before then!
<3 M
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