So begins the Lent season. I gave up Pinterest as well as added some things I do on a daily basis that helps guide me in my faith. So happy March everyone! Yesterday I went to the doctors office to pick up some prescriptions and had to sign that I got them. I had to write down the date as well and I asked the receptionist, "What day is it, the 5th right?" She looked at me for a few seconds, looked down at her calendar and said no, its the 12th. LOL I felt SO stupid. We laughed for like 5 minutes about it. No joke. Good thing I knew it was Wednesday though :P
Get ready for some mushy stuff near the end of this blog. Deal with it lol


Since I haven't been able to waste my time with Pinterest (which I always tell myself I'm really doing to improve our house, but lets get real. I have a problem) I have had quite a time to think and pray which is something I have needed to start doing much more. Yeah bad Catholic. I'm not perfect lol. I've been really questioning recently about why things have happened in my past, why God allowed some things happen that I didn't want or having blocked something I really wanted. My dad always told me "everything happens for a reason" as well as "God knows what He's doing, trust Him." For reasons in my past its hard to put trust in anyone and its been a real struggle for me. You'd think I could trust God with everything including Him guiding my life. NOPE. I've had a really hard time letting things happen that are out of my control, even still today I do. Since I've been praying, and some other reasons, I've had a lot of stuff come up from my past that has been on my mind that I always questioned, "Why me?" Sounds selfish but like I said, not perfect. One thing that has always bothered and angered me is not being able to commit to the Air Force. I am 100% patriotic and I have the utmost respect for all military members. Before I decided to join, I was majoring in psychology which I loved, but after some pretty rough stuff that happened around that time I wanted to do something more, to better myself, and to help others. So I researched endlessly on all the branches and decided to follow in my dad's footsteps and join the Air Force. I went to the recruiting office, everything went perfect minus I had to wait to go to basic. I swore into their DEP program which stands for Delayed Entrance Program, so basically once or twice a month we'd get together and had a meeting and PT'd with our recruiter. I loved every minute of it. I cleared MEPS and after awhile I found out that I was going to be a security officer. Which I was still really excited about even though I was a small woman lol. A couple of months before my basic date, I started getting chest pains pretty bad and was getting really really sick after I worked out. I talked to my recruiter and I finally decided to go to the doctor to get it checked out before the final swear in. Turns out that my blood pressure drops way way low when I work out to a dangerous level. The doctor told me at the time that there was nothing that I could do, it might go away when I got older. Perfect. So I told my recruiter and we agreed that not going to basic would be the best. I had waited 8 months. 8 months of my life preparing to go into the service, preparing for such an exciting journey I was really wanting to start. I was supposed to leave for basic the next month. I was so devastated. I had no idea what I was going to do since I had dropped out of college for the time being to join, and now I pretty much wasted eight months of my life. At least it seemed like that to me. I started to looking into Vet Tech schools and there was one school in Houston that I got accepted into -- there weren't that many in Texas. Turns out financially I wasn't able to go to that school. There were a few other schools, but all needed some type of experience and an extra class I hadn't taken. So I was out of luck. I felt like everything was falling around me, and no matter what I tried nothing was working. Then I FINALLY got a wonderful opportunity to work at a vet hospital as a vet assistant. I was so so blessed I had such great friends to give me that opportunity. I loved every minute of it, but I was also working at another job at the time and literally had NO time to take the class I needed to apply to the two other schools in Texas. After awhile I was able to change my schedule a bit and take that one class I needed. Turns out the professor was terrible. Over half the class dropped. There was literally 5 people left including me, and then I finally dropped it because I was doing so bad. I'm usually a great student so I was mad at myself and SO frustrated that I was "stuck" again and that my life was going no where. Then that's around the time I met my husband. Thinking back, I kept asking God why this was happening and why what I was praying for was not happening? (How selfish right?) Turns out He really was answering my prayers, just not the way I wanted it. If I joined the Air Force, I would have never been able to meet N since he's an officer and two I wouldn't have had a friend help me meet him if I hadn't gotten the job at the vet and if I had gone to school I wouldn't be in the city to be able to get the opportunity to meet him. He has absolutely has been THE best blessing I have ever had. I've been going through a really rough time recently and I couldn't imagine anyone else being at my side more than he has. No one has been as supportive, loving and patient than my wonderful husband. I thank God everyday for sending him to me, and thank God everyday I didn't delete my online dating page the night he messaged me which I had previously planned to. This has really made me realize that no matter how much I feel out of control in life, that I need to trust in our Lord. He is the only one that knows what's best for us, and He knows what is the best way to get us there. When N and I started dating the song "God Gave Me You" by Blake Shelton had just came out on the radio and every time I left his house, or he left my apartment the song would come on. No joke. He said the same thing, and we both felt like it was supposed to be our song. Listening to the lyrics now makes me tear up to how true they are, and how much they mean to both of us.

I've been a walking heartache
I've made a mess of me
The person that I've been lately
Ain't who I wanna be

But you stay here right beside me
And watch as the storm blows through
And I need you

Cause God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
And for when I think I lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it's true
God gave me you
Gave me you

There's more here than what we're seeing
A divine conspiracy
That you, an angel lovely
Could somehow fall for me
You'll always be love's great martyr
And I'll be the flattered fool
And I need you
Yeah!

God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
And for when I think I lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it's true
God gave me you

On my own I'm only
Half of what I could be
I can't do without you
We are stitched together
And what love has tethered
I pray we never undo

Cause God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
And for when I think I lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it's true
God gave me you, gave me you
He gave me you 
--Blake Shelton--

The beginning and the chorus are my absolute favorite and make me tear up thinking how true and beautiful our relationship is. I wish I could let N know how much he means to me, and how much he's helped me through this storm that seems to keep blowing, but I'm terrible at speaking my emotions haha I'm better at writing. I feel stronger with him by my side, and you also know you married the right guy when he reminds you to say the rosary and helps you become closer with God every single day.

Thank you my love for everything you do. I know I don't tell you everyday, but you mean more to me than anything, even Easel :P I love you so very much and I'm so glad God gave me you. Love you the mostest time infinity squared :)

M